How To Get Rid Of Self-Doubt
Self-doubt and self-criticism seem to be as common as eating. It’s painful to doubt and criticize ourselves, yet despite it taking a major toll on our self-esteem and self-confidence, we still seem to do it.
So, how do we stop it?
First, let us just say that we get it. Like you, we face the same types of challenges as most people, including that voice of the inner critic and self-doubt. Truth be told, we’ve never met a person who hasn’t experienced self-doubt and self-criticism. If you know someone who hasn’t, we’d love to meet them.
The wild thing is that we’re born without self-doubt, insecurities or negative thoughts about ourselves. Then we get jaded by life, and more specifically, the people around us. We get bullied, criticized, ridiculed and abused – often by people who are closest to us – at home and school.
Over time, we adopt these thoughts about ourselves from other people, such as parents, teachers, kids, religious leaders, society, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, etc., and we made them our own. We programmed our brains with these limiting self-beliefs without even realizing it, and that’s why they feel so real and true – because we made them ours.
However, these self-doubts and negative self-beliefs are NOT YOUR OWN. This is so important and powerful to understand. When you become aware and understand where your self-doubt came from, it will no longer have power over you.
So, how do we change this? How do we get rid of the self-doubt and feel more confident in who we are? How do we eliminate negative self-beliefs and value who we are as people? How do we begin loving ourselves exactly as we are? How do we believe in ourselves – knowing that we can achieve anything we put our minds to?
There have to be some inner shifts, and the first inner shift that needs to occur is…
Moving into self-acceptance. A shift into self-acceptance means letting yourself off the hook of perfectionism and not caring what other people think of you. It means not making your self-acceptance conditional upon achieving a certain goal, looking a certain way or seeking approval from someone else.
The minute you come into self-acceptance and understand who you truly are, how much you’ve overcome and that you are always doing the best you can, you will feel more confident. Now, self-acceptance doesn’t mean you give up, settle, become content or stop pursuing what you’re called to do. It means you stop judging yourself and open your heart to where you stand today in this moment.
It also means that we have to learn to go beyond our feelings and negative thoughts and choose to do what is right and what we strongly believe in even if we feel scared. That leads us to the next point of helping you get rid of self-doubt…
Declutter your self-talk. Become aware as to what you’re saying to yourself. If your self-talk is filled with negative thoughts about yourself, do you think that will help you feel more confident? Of course not!
So, you have to change your self-talk. Of course, this is a gradual process, and the goal is to turn down the volume of your self-doubt and promote more self-confidence. So, whenever your self-doubt creeps in – which it will – be kind, love and accept how you are in this moment. Stop shaming and bashing that part of you. As strange as it sounds, compassion is needed for all parts of you and is most needed in those moment of negativity.
Allow that self-compassion to soak into the self-doubt and then move out of it by changing your inner dialogue with your new truths about the type of person you truly believe yourself to be.
Change That Up!
December 18, 2020
Before the election, Congress was debating two different stimulus bills. One was over $1 trillion; the other was over $2 trillion. Now, the market is anticipating that a $900 billion plan making the rounds will come into law sooner or later. Either way, more created money is more created money. Some of it will find its way to households that need it. Some will find its way to the stock market (especially if every American gets another check again).
While the government isn’t known for its fiscal discipline in good times, the mere dangling of further stimulus has at least helped create billions of dollars in the stock market. Eventually, Congress will get around to actually spending it, and the market will move on to the next news items capable of explaining daily swings.
Now here’s the rest of the news:
Silver is Back!: “In my view, as far as investment assets go, silver still remains amongst the most undervalued. But that’s unlikely to last.” —Peter Krauth
Gold $1,841.94 (+0.1%)
Silver $24.04 (-1.0%)
Platinum $1,021.00 (-4.3%)
Palladium $2,349.25 (-1.3%)
December 18, 2019
First, design your future actions.
This means being more intentional about how you would like to implement a change. Become more productive at home by cutting out cable TV and deleting social media apps or games from your phone. Improve eating habits by putting more fruits and vegetables towards the front of your refrigerator or only purchasing items in individual snack sizes to help with portion control. Bolster your ﬁnances by setting up automatic deposits from your paycheck. Take whatever it is you are planning to do and map it out accordingly. The more we structure our environments to breed success, the more likely we are to get small amounts of gratiﬁcation, and the better we become at aligning our present and future goals.
Next, reduce the friction of starting.
The pain of procrastination is often far worse than simply starting. Want to go for a run after work? Pack your clothes, have your water ready, and a route pre-planned. Find a healthy to go meal service if you’d like to start meal prepping but are worried about time. Take small steps. They don’t have to be perfect. Spend time on getting yourself to simply show up and focus on how consistently you can do that rather than how well you complete the task in its entirety. The more we do this, the more likely we are to build it into a habit and start to stick with it. Go easy on yourself, reduce the barriers, and the rest will fall into place.
Lastly, set SMART goals. Make them specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.
NO surprise that the more specific we are with what we want to do, the better we are at accomplishing it. For example, if I want to decrease sugars in my diet, I need to break down what that means. For someone who finds themselves looking for candy bars in the vending machines mid afternoon, a SMART goal could be for them to stop carrying change in their pocket at work for the next month. They could do this by putting the change in a piggy bank or container instead, and can use the money normally spent on candy/soda to purchase a non-food related reward at the end of the month.
What goal have you been trying to achieve? Take these strategies and implement them! Remember — the trick to getting ahead is getting started. To Your Mindset … 😉