The Importance of Setting (and Keeping) Boundaries
What do we know about boundaries? Well, EVERYONE needs them, yet NO ONE likes them!
The hardest part about boundaries is not setting them, but rather, enforcing them and keeping them set.
Think about how many boundaries are set for us as kids. When our parents set a boundary, it taught us right from wrong. Boundaries gave us very clear – and often, immediate – feedback as to whether a behaviour was “good” or “bad”, essentially with a “yes” or a “no”, respectively.
More often than not, as kids, we probably heard “no” quite often, and in return, we probably said “no” a lot.
But what about as adults? Why do we have a hard time saying NO?
Because we feel bad about it. We feel guilty when we say NO, and that plays into our “guilt cycle”, which, paradoxically, feeds the reward centre in our brain.
You know who does NOT like to hear “no”?
PARENTS! Parents say NO a lot but do not like to be told NO.
Now, think about your adult life for a minute. Do you have a problem saying NO? Who are the hardest people to say NO to? OUR PARENTS… with immediate family, in-laws and really close friends a very near second.
But what’s the cost when we’re so ambivalent about saying NO? Are we honouring ourselves if we are constantly saying YES to everyone and everything around us?
Conflicts with boundaries can cause, exacerbate or shake the cobwebs off a whole host of psychological issues, such as…
- Eating disorders
- Guilt problems
- Shame issues
- Marital and relational struggles
- And more
This is why it is SO important to create boundaries for ourselves and our unit – our primary social group, usually involving our parents, children, immediate family and closest friends.
Take time today to think about some important boundaries you need to create. Where – and with whom – do you need to draw the line in the sand?
Write them down so that you can see where the issue lies. Is your biggest problem knowing where to draw boundaries? Or, do you struggle enforcing them? Or, do you have trouble with both?
Change That Up!
December 04, 2020
November’s explosive rally higher is clearly over. From some down days for stocks to some “barely up” days like Wednesday and Thursday, the rest of the year is likely to follow this seasonal pattern of low volatility.
After everything else that’s gone on this year, that’s not so bad. And stocks are still near record highs, even as the economy is far from recovered from unprecedented levels of shutdowns. Traders can still find plenty of opportunities, even in a slower market. Expect some market moves around Covid stimulus headlines to be a big driver, and for investors to continue investing in areas that have done well over the past few months.
Now here’s the rest of the news:
December 04, 2019
A bit of animation, and another message from Darren Hardy.
“Becoming More YOU, For Real”
I’ve got a tip that can help. If you have hip bursitis, and you’re finding it difficult to get rid of the pain, it could be, in part, your SITTING POSTURE.
Sitting posture is one of the largest contributors to the development of hip tightness, pain and bursitis. If you’ve struggled to fix your hip pain, there is a good chance that your sitting posture is the reason why.
If you’re spending six or more hours in a com-promised position every day, you’re going to experience negative health effects. Try to keep your hips open and your lumbar spine straight while sitting, but remember that sitting for extended periods of time is still likely to contribute to poor hip and spine health. Two more hip-tips tomorrow! 😉